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Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Putting on My Big Girl Pants

I've made no secret that I have gained back what I lost and have been struggling terribly in my effort to get my weight loss mojo back. What is less commonly known (by that those who don't see me daily) I have been stubbornly wearing pants that are frankly too tight. All the while I have been telling myself it should motivate me to lose that weight I have re-gained since I bought my "skinny pants".  I tell myself that I don't deserve to buy any clothes...only going down in sizes should be rewarded. Turns out that kind of negativity does not motivate me. It makes me feel awful every morning when I squeeze into the pair of pants I can still zip/button. It makes me feel awful when I spend the the day tugging self consciously at my top trying to pull it down over my pants. Is that the way I want to live - constantly feeling negatively towards myself?

I need to feel good about myself where I am. I have good qualities and I don't need a stupid pair of pants to constantly tell me how bad I am. I am not sure that I completely buy into the idea that you are who you are and you are should be completely happy or satisfied with that. I think there is a fine line between loving myself as a person (no matter your size) and embracing a size fueled by what I know is an unhealthy lifestyle. The truth is, my being significantly overweight is not good for my overall health - physical or emotional.

I admit buying a bigger size of pants was not a pleasant experience. I felt ashamed as I shopped. On the plus side (no pun intended), I didn't need to go up two sizes :)  And even though I was embarrassed that I am even in this predicament, I knew immediately when I slid those pants on in the dressing room that I was doing the right thing. I need to be in a positive place to believe that I really can do the things I need to do to lose weight again and become healthier.

So far now I am pulling on my big girl pants and working to change my frame of mind so I can change the frame of my body.  

In related news...
Having non-buyer's remorse. I saw this tin sign at Hobby Lobby the other day and did not buy it...now I want it even more. 
I jumped the gun on the start of our Star Wars countdown challenge. See yesterday's post. I saw 100 days on the counter and didn't take into account the extra 18+ hours that would push the start until today. At least I am a day early and not a day late. And I happy to report I made it up and out the door again this morning. I walked a little bit farther and a little bit faster than yesterday. That makes me happy (and sweaty and red...)


In unrelated news...

On the same shopping trip when I didn't buy the above picture, I saw a couple of things that make me say "hmmm..."

Flannel fabric. I was looking for baby blanket flannel...probably not appropriate for my purpose. Which begs the question...for what purpose would it be appropriate?

I feel like this display might be mislabeled by the sale tag. I am not seeing these items in a man cave.


And hand statues just creep me out. I guess the idea is that this "bowl" will hold your stuff. Yikes~

I am linking with Weigh In Wednesday today, although I am not reporting a loss/gain. I forgot where I was when I weighed last, so this is restart weigh-in for me. Next week...









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19 comments:

  1. One Crazy PenguinSeptember 9, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    This post makes me happy. Weight loss is so much easier when coming from a positive place. You shouldn't punish yourself for the past. That only leads to bad things. Just make sure youy take care of yourself now and the weight will come off over time :)

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  2. Shannon TatlockSeptember 9, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    My husband is equally excited about Star Wars! You should SEE his room of action figures! ;)

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    1. AnnaSeptember 10, 2015 at 8:11 AM

      If only we could go on opening night and not have to deal with crowds. Men and their toys :)

      Delete
  3. Mary SueSeptember 9, 2015 at 10:04 AM

    I used to be the same way about buying bigger sized pants. But I decided to bite the bullet and get some pants that fit and I think I look and feel so much better. Also, if your pants don't fit it's not that there is anything wrong with your body. Those are just the wrong pants for you. Blame the pants!

    And I think that flannel pattern would make some really cute comfy pajamas.

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    1. AnnaSeptember 10, 2015 at 8:12 AM

      I love flannel pjs! If I could live in them I wouldn't need new pants!

      Delete
  4. Christina @ Love Yourself HealthySeptember 9, 2015 at 11:31 AM

    I also used to refuse to buy bigger pants, but you get to a point where it just makes you more miserable wearing uncomfortably tight pants every day which then makes you want to eat even more. So, woohoo for pants that fit! And for getting up again this morning!!

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    1. Christina @ Love Yourself HealthySeptember 9, 2015 at 11:32 AM

      I should have said getting up TO WORK OUT again this morning... ha.

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    2. AnnaSeptember 10, 2015 at 8:12 AM

      That did make me laugh - every day you get out of bed is an accomplishment in itself :)

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  5. LoriSeptember 9, 2015 at 6:14 PM

    I agree with the "woohoo for pants that fit"!! I say comfort rules :)

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    1. AnnaSeptember 10, 2015 at 8:13 AM

      They definitely feel better and if it helps me get myself together it will be worth the price.

      Delete
  6. Running MegSeptember 10, 2015 at 6:56 AM

    Good call on getting new pants. Sure, it's not what you planned on doing, but making yourself miserable wasn't helping. And when you retire these new pants soon it'll be all the sweeter!
    HA! I hate hand statues too. Is it because of the movie Labyrinth?

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    1. AnnaSeptember 10, 2015 at 8:14 AM

      I agree - I will happy to leave them behind, but my tummy is thanking me now :) I've never seen Labyrinth - they just find them creepy.

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  7. Cassi SchmigotzkiSeptember 10, 2015 at 9:04 AM

    Definitely a weird pattern for flannel...but maybe it's meant for making PJs?

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    1. AnnaSeptember 11, 2015 at 5:45 AM

      That is pretty much the only thing I could imagine using it for :)

      Delete
  8. LittleMoreEachDaySeptember 10, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    Good for you! You deserve to feel good about yourself and clothes that fit, regardless of the size, are a big part of that.

    I cannot fathom what that flannel would be appropriate for.

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    1. AnnaSeptember 11, 2015 at 5:46 AM

      I agree, the fit of your clothing makes a huge difference. And just cause I went a little bit the wrong way doesn't mean I have to stay in them :)

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  9. WinterBensonSeptember 10, 2015 at 4:56 PM

    You don't have to report a weight loss/gain! It's all about health and fitness lady!

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    1. AnnaSeptember 11, 2015 at 5:48 AM

      I don't mind reporting it (especially a loss), but I just lost track of my previous weight. And I agree I am trying to focus on fitness/eating in a more positive light than "I gotta lose weight..now!"

      Delete