Help! I feel everything falling apart around me and I can't seem to do anything to make it stop. We have been so off our eating plan it is ridiculous. For months we were so committed, ate healthy food in reasonable amounts, worked out - all the things that made us successful losers. Then last week my husband was sick and was craving comfort food. The next thing I know we are eating nothing but junk and plenty of it.
I tried not to give in to it. Every morning I start out like I am going to get my act together. Healthy breakfast. Healthy lunch. Then by evening it is has blown up. I snack and snack some more. Sweet snack, salty snack and back to sweet. By the time dinner rolls around I am not even truly hungry, but I eat it anyway.
I know my husband is blaming himself for getting us off track when he was sick, but the truth is I have been struggling for weeks - since I was sick. As I told him, I completely understand that the choices I am making are my own. Yes, it is true that it is infinitely easier to stay on track when your spouse is also on track. However, it is probably somewhat unrealistic that we will always be on the same step in this journey.
As I mentioned before, my husband is at his goal now and is trying to find his maintenance sweet spot. I think he is having trouble adjusting to the freedom of more calories. And since I am not there yet I am having trouble helping him.
Maybe if I bury my weigh-in in the middle of this post nobody but me will have to know I gained 3.8 pounds this week. My weigh-in is a bit traumatic for me this week. Even though my brain tells me the gain on the scale is somewhat artificial it has hit me hard emotionally. I am going the opposite direction of my goal.
This morning I was bummed after I weighed in. I had to stop at Walmart on my way to the office. I didn't even try to talk myself out of buying a bag of chips and some cookies. I even had to ask where the cookies I wanted were and wait for someone to show me. I knew I should just walk away. By the time I got to work I had snacked on enough of it that I felt a bit sick to my stomach and was completely ashamed of myself. I stashed the stuff in my desk. About mid-morning I finally came to my senses and dumped the junk in the trash. For lunch I ate my Lean Cuisine and started feeling better about my day.
Turns out it didn't last long. I had to run and errand at work and ended up finding another snack. What is wrong with me???
I need to find the reset button...and quick!
I am embarrassed to share all this, but I didn't think it is fair to share all the sunshine and rainbows and completely avoid talking about the raging storms. I want to be real about this journey. It is hard. Just plain hard.
There is some good news in the day. My husband was able to get a fresh start today. For the first time in over a week he tracked all his food and stayed within his calories. I am so proud of him. He is so sweet and gives my credit for pulling him out of his desire to give up. All I can think is how do I pull myself out of it? How is it I can help others, but can't help myself?
I know I am not alone...please share how you got through the tough days/weeks/months?