Friday, December 4, 2015

One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

I am so glad I decided to set December goals and not let it become a total free for all. For breakfast, I scrambled two eggs with a cup of frozen spinach and some turkey sausage. I was surprised how simple and delicious it turned out to be. That will definitely be happening again.
A couple of months ago my husband and I went to my college homecoming. We were given these coffee cups. My husband is not a hot beverage drinker at all. I occasionally will have tea or hot chocolate. So the cups have been sitting on the top shelf in the cupboard ever since. Yesterday, I had a sudden epiphany - I bet I could use the coffee cup for water in the car. Who knew coffee cups were so versatile?? So 12 oz. of water can easily go with me to work. I have about a 15-20 minute commute each way and I can easily add 24 oz. of water to my day.
Now it is time to play with the broth I made the other day from my rotisserie chicken leftovers.  For this soup I simply a bunch of sliced Brussels sprouts and carrots. I had a little left over dry pasta in the cabinet, so I decided to throw in too.
I made the soup in the morning before work. This is the beauty shot that I took right after I made it.
And this is how my "soup" looked by lunch time. The pasta had sucked up all the broth. It was still tasty but not soupy. Next time I would use less pasta and maybe cook it before putting it in the soup.
I saw a great tip recently for chicken soup. Chef Alex Guarnaschelli recommended adding the cooked chicken right before serving. I can't tell you the number of times I have added the chicken early and it became pretty flavorless with a unappealing texture. I used some of the rotisserie chicken I had removed from the bones before making the broth. Adding that chicken right at the end allowed it to retain its deliciousness and texture. A vast improvement!

I have about a quart and a half of broth left. I put one quart in the freezer. The partial quart will be the base for my next soup experiment.

After lunch I headed out for a walk. I almost didn't go because I forgot my Garmin watch. Seriously? I can't walk without it? I overcame that minor lapse and used my cell phone to check the time. I will never know how far I walked, but I am okay with that. I was just happy to be outside walking again after several gray days and marching in place at home.

It was trash day and I had to do some dodging of empty cans.

 I also indulged by love of fire hydrants. I love the subtle style variations and the weathered paint.
Apparently this is the season to trim trees (not only in a decorative way). I saw a couple different companies working in the neighborhood. I found this one's slogan amusing. "Our business is pretty shady."
 Attention purple lovers - how pretty are these little berries?
I wish this picture had turned out a little better, but you get the idea. This yard was filled with metal butterflies.
 I am a little worried about this retaining wall. I wonder how much longer it can last.
 I have always thought this is a funny shaped tree, but appreciate their decoration :)
 One of my favorite parts of a walk is when I finish. No, not for that reason. I like the way I feel - thinner, stronger, healthier.  Some days I wish the feeling would last longer. Yesterday it bottomed out when I was scrolling through the pictures I had taken for the blog. I was horrified at one picture I had taken. I am not really a fan of having my picture taken, but have been much better about it for the sake of a realistic blog portrayal of my life. I much prefer to be behind the camera.

In this picture, the camera had actually been taking my picture instead of what I had wanted (another hydrant I believe). It was the most unattractive picture of my squinting into the camera screen with about a million chins. When the sun is bright there is a glare on the phone screen and am never quite sure how the picture will turn out. I can't tell you how bad that stupid picture made me feel for the rest of the day. I could feel my fat everywhere. Although, I like to think I am open on this blog, I will not be sharing that picture. I deleted it immediately. Hopefully only the FBI could find it (if my phone were involved in some terrible crime) and even then, I hope they are distracted by all the ridiculous Google searches I have done.  Anyway, it is inexplicable to me that when I am looking out on the world through my eyes I feel like a normal sized person, who at times is even cute. But then a picture or noticing how much space my hiney takes up on the couch can instantly crush that more positive self view. It that really what I look like when I am not trying to strike a flattering pose for a picture??

Unfortunately, that feeling doesn't fuel my motivation very well. Last night it had quite the opposite effect. I made several poor choices, which only lead me to be sad and angry. I had had such a great day start to the day (see above food and walk.) I know I am not alone in these feelings. I would love to hear how some of you get yourself through some of these feelings without adding to the "problem."

Reading back, I hate to have even written the above paragraphs and considered deleting them. It embarrasses me. I am not looking for sympathy or people to reassure me that I am cute. I just want to be real about my struggles. And hopefully, when I come out on the other side my sharing will help the next one to overcome.

And today is a new day....I am already at 30 oz.of water,  I have had one fruit and one veggie with breakfast and I have my shoes for a lunch walk (oops I forgot my watch again, but now I have proof I can walk without it, so no excuses!) 

December 3
5 Fruits/Veggies -  1 c spinach, orange, 1/2 cup Brussels sprouts, 1/4 c carrots. 1 c. Brussels sprouts/butternut, 1 1/2 c. broccoli/peppers/onions
100 oz. water - 100 oz. (on the nose)
Next best choice - I was pulling out of driveway and remembered I meant to take my walking shoes to work. There have been other days when I just said forget it. This time, not only did I go back in for the shoes, I didn't grab the cookie I wanted on my way back out.


  1. Stuff like this happens to everybody. We all have bad days when we get blindsided by something unexpected, and it attacks our self-confidence. The important part is to be able to recognize it for what it is and be able to move on. Which you have done marvelously. Don't beat yourself up too much about it. :) Great job, and I totally love the pics!

  2. I had a bad day yesterday. It was a bad day at work, followed by it raining (so no run outside), plus some personal stresses. Instead of rising above, I say on the couch and binged on Reeses Christmas Trees. Which only made me feel worse. I woke up today and almost let that ruin my day, but I decided to let it go. Today is a new day and I'm going to stop holding myself back. I think we just have to accept ourselves and be gentle with ourselves in those moments of weakness. That way we can stand back up the next day, stronger and wiser.

  3. ^^ what they said! I can't begin to tell you how many pics I delete vs the ones I actually keep. Good job keeping that walk going even without your garmin. If you walk that same route regularly, just average out the mileage or if you know what your base time per mile is for walking, just use that!

  4. I saw a picture of myself recently (the finish line photo from my last 5K) and I was honestly surprised at how big I *still* am. I feel so great about myself and I think I look pretty good most days, even feeling *skinny* sometimes--but I saw that picture, and I instantly thought, "Ugh, I'm still so fat!" However, then I had to have a heart-to-heart with myself---how does ONE photo have any power to actually change how I feel about myself? In that moment when the photo was taken, I was feeling strong and powerful--and definitely not fat and dumpy! So I remind myself of those feelings... I remind myself how far I've come... I remind myself that I feel GOOD about myself, and one photo of me next to some rather slender women doesn't change that! So even when I don't feel the *most* confident, I do my best to come out of the shadows and hold my chin up, because even though I am bigger than a lot of people, I am no less deserving of the space I take up and it doesn't change the fact that I am AWESOME!

    And that pep talk happens in my head over the course of about 2.4 seconds :)

  5. When I fall, I try to give myself a pep talk too. I kind of yell at myself. I tell myself that I only have myself to blame for feeling physically and mentally yucky, so stop wallowing in it and try to learn from it. At least that's why I tell myself :)

  6. Everyone takes a bad picture from time to time - even super thin people. Don't get down and beat yourself up over that. You're out, doing something good for yourself! You have to celebrate that!

    Also, you should download runkeeper onto your phone, so you can keep track of your mileage when you don't have your Garmin with you. I use it for runs/walks and to keep up with my mileage by the month. And it's free!

    1. I love my Garmin, but runkeeper would be a good back up plan for me.