Losing My Puppy 2.0

Enough is enough! I have been looking back at posts from last summer. I want to be back in that place. However, I refuse to beat myself up about the past 6-7 months. We faced one of the worst things a couple can face. Nevertheless, there comes a time when you have to deal with consequences and for me that time is now.

The cold hard truth is that I have gained all that I lost last year - weight that is. Thankfully, that is not all that I have gained in the past year. New friends, a blog I am proud of, proof that I can do it, new recipes we have discovered, etc. are all things that I have happily gained and will all be part of my comeback.

I am treating myself a fresh start. I will do my absolute best to let go of the past and not compare this summer to last. I am determined to try new things and make new memories. Of course, I will be dipping into my past successes - no need to reinvent the wheel. Tracking my food and getting daily exercise causes me to lose weight. Losing weight helps me to feel better and be more confident.

Here are a few of my plans...

Regular swimming - It is time to ask for help with my stroke. I can do a mean doggie paddle, but I really want to "master" freestyle. There will be goggles and breathing lessons.

Yoga - The gym we belong to has a Monday night class and I will be checking that out. I also have some at home yoga options that I am going to try (hello, YouTube - so many resources in my very own home).  I am the least flexible person I know. I am hopeful that regular stretching will improve my flexibility and balance.

Meal Prep - It is so easy to get sidetracked when you are not prepared. I am going to work on some healthy delicious lunches that I can put together on the weekend. It isn't that I don't like a turkey sandwich (one of my go-to lunches) but it hardly inspires me. I want to be "excited" by what is in my lunch box - for taste and healthy fuel reasons.

Dog training - Millie is a good girl for the most part, but I would like her to be more responsive. I often leave her home when I go walking because I don't want to "deal" with her goofiness, but I know it won't get better if I don't work with her.

New recipes - I want to keep exploring food that I can enjoy the cooking process, but does not sabotage my health goals.

No, I am not going to do all these things today. Neither am I going to take forever to incorporate them. Stay tuned.

During this non-losing weight phase of my blogging I have enjoyed sharing a wider slice of my life. I expect that will continue. I have said repeatedly on this blog that I believe weight loss and health is so intertwined with every day life that I can't separate them. Considering that so many of you have stuck with me through this phase I hope that means that you have continued to find value (and/or entertainment) in what I am sharing.

I am starting over on my weigh-in and "losing my puppy" goal. Millie is holding steady at about 85 pounds so I am adjusting my goal to that number. Truth is, I don't really know how I feel about the numbers until I get there. According to the "experts" I would probably have to lose even more, but as an adult I have never been close to those numbers (except for the 5 seconds when I passed them on my way up the scale). I may be very satisfied and healthy before I reach this somewhat arbitrary goal, but I think it helps me to have a specific goal in mind. And of course, it works for my blog name...who wants to read "Losing My Puppy - Almost" or "Losing Most of My Puppy"? 

I am leaving my previous progress chart as is for now. I have added a 2.0 progress chart. I am hoping the original will be inspirational - reminding me I can do it and motivate me to do even better. I am taking some new "before" pictures, but I will probably wait to share them until I have something to compare them to. I don't feel good about them currently, but they will help me see the change and I think that is important.

My body hasn't been up to picking up the full-on exercise quite yet. To start I have been making a concerted effort to do some stretching in the morning. While the dogs are taking their time finding the perfect potty spot, I can now be found stretching on the deck. I have logged my food on MyFitnessPal for two days in a row! I have packed my lunch for work. Monday was turkey jalapeno smoked sausage & tomato in whole wheat pita with a side of peppers, cucumbers and a peach. And of course, another bottle of water. Tuesday was pretty similar - substituting leftover grilled chicken for the sausage.

One of my all time favorite summer breakfasts - wheat pita bread topped with fresh tomato, basil and mozzarella cheese. I bake it for about 5-6 minutes at 400 degrees. Perfection.

I tried to get Millie in on the veggie action with some grilled asparagus. She was extremely interested. When I finally gave it to her she took it, licked it and rolled it around her mouth. Ultimately, she refused to eat it. Maybe next time.

I saved this post for a couple of days because I wanted it to be more than "this is what I want to do". Instead, I want it to be "this is what I am doing".  Sure it has only been two days, but I feel good about my re-start so far. And I've already lost 30 pounds!!! Obviously not, but the weight of guilt about how I had been eating is lifting :)

Forest Park Weekend

This weekend I got to spend some significant time in a beautiful location - Forest Park in St. Louis. The park is about 1400 acres. It is home to a zoo (free), art museum (free), outdoor theatre (musicals), science center, golf courses, trails, wide open spaces and so much more. In 1904, Forest Park hosted both the World's Fair and the Olympic water sports.


My Forest Park adventures started Friday night. There is probably only a handful of my people my age who have never seen Jaws and I am  no longer one of them. Friday night we went to an outdoor showing of Jaws in the park sponsored by the St. Louis Art Museum.

The movie didn't start until 9 p.m., but we got there extra early to set up our space. There area closest to the screen is for blankets only, but we brought chairs to sit in. Although it seems far away the view was actually quite good as was the sound system.

According to the comments on their Facebook page, several food trucks were scheduled to be there. However, comments indicated ridiculously long lines for the food trucks at last week's movie. We decided to bring our own picnic food, just in case. Turns out we were there early enough that the lines weren't bad so we decided to get some goodies from the trucks. Our strategy was for everyone to pick something different and we would share. I chose tacos from Cha Cha Chow. We sampled a lobster taco with lemon sauce, a cheeseburger taco with lime slaw and a spicy chicken with lots of cilantro. The favorite was the spicy chicken. I couldn't resist the lobster taco even though it was double the price. It was tasty, but the lobster was a bit stingy for the price. The cheeseburger taco was the miss of the bunch - loved the lime slaw but the meat was "meh".

My nephew chose a cheesesteak sandwich. It was classic and good.

My husband chose pizza (surprise!), Instead of getting pepperoni he decided to get something a little different because he knew that is what I liked - so sweet :) He chose the Margarita pizza. It was delicious, but not what he considered pizza. We did agree that if he were served this as an appetizer (not calling it pizza) he would have liked it. He ended up going back for a couple of the spicy chicken tacos. 

It was super hot and humid. They gave out fans. I waved it like a madwoman with limited cooling results, but a least I was cute and artsy while I fanned myself :)

A chalk artist made this incredible drawing on the parking lot. For a tip, she would take pictures of people with the picture. This was our silly interpretation.

Time for a quick bathroom break before the movie. My tip for you all - if there is any possibility of using a real bathroom do not be lazy like me. I was already hot and tired from walking up and down the hill. I just didn't want to walk back over to the Art Museum, so I foolishly chose the portable toilet. I ended up having the door opened on me - thankfully, my pants were still up. For the record, there is no speedy way to pull  your pants up quickly when your skin is all hot and sweaty. While I was struggling, I heard a thud. I just knew I'd dropped my phone in the toilet. Again, thankfully, it was still safe in my pocket. Two crises averted. Although the overall portable toilet experience was bad, I will say it was one of the cleanest I've used. Pictured below is the sun setting on the statue of King Louis IX (namesake of St. Louis).

Another tip - to make finding your seat again easy (or in this large crowd, possible) park yourself by something distinctive - like the Canadian flag chairs.They were even smarter by bringing a tall flag to place on their chairs.

 Movie time!

Just for fun I recorded a couple of scenes. Trust me, the picture quality was much better in person. I love this quote "Out there is a Perfect Engine, an Eating Machine that is a miracle of evolution - it swims and eats and makes little baby sharks, that's all."

And a little drama for you...

We all enjoyed our evening. The movie was good and I can see why it became a classic. Even with antiquated special effects it definitely created drama. I seriously, did not expect to see someone get eaten though - yikes!  And I did wonder why they couldn't just shoot that beast dead a little more quickly. After reading more about the production online, I want to re-watch it at home.

Since I rarely go to Forest Park, it was surprising to find myself there twice in one weekend. My photographer friend invited me on a photo outing and she chose Forest Park. We had a great time wandering around snapping pictures and enjoying a slightly rainy morning. Here is a little of what I saw...

Does this statue remind you of anyone? It is St. Francis of Assisi, but I saw a certain NBA player. 

Wandering around the park made me slightly envious of those who live so close to it. We saw lots of people running, walking, biking, etc. There was even a guy running up and down the huge stairs. I found all the people very motivating. According to many messages on bricks by the fountain (I was quite engrossed), Forest Park is a magnet for active people. And I want to be one of those people

Once I get back into the groove, my husband and I are going to plan a Forest Park workout. I am excited already. We had so much fun last summer on "fitness adventures" and I think Forest Park would be a great adventure for us.

And one final hurrah - I made this Blueberry Zucchini Cake with Lemon Buttercream. It was supposed to be a two layer cake, but I made it single layers. My strategy was to share with as many people as possible, so I wouldn't eat the whole thing. Single layers made that much easier. I delivered most of it to family and friends and saved one delicious piece for myself :)  Don't let the blueberries and zucchini fool you - this is a "naughty" cake that won't be a part of my life again for while. .

For more on "getting back into the groove" and "avoiding naughty cakes" please seen this coming Wednesday's post....

5 on Friday

Today is an odds and ends post, so I decided to do a 5 on Friday format.

 

ONE

There is a reason they say "careful what you wish for". I just wanted a little sunshine. After the rainiest June on record - 13+ inches (9 inches above normal) I was aching to see/feel the sun.Well, the sun has arrived in a blaze of glory.  Heat indexes are well over 100 degrees. And the humidity - oh my.

I finally feel the mental drive to get back to working out - especially walking. However, my body is not cooperating. This heat and humidity has me in a bit of a physical funk. I am exhausted and my pain levels are up there. Hopefully, my body will adjust soon.

In the meantime, I will remind myself of the cooler wetter days with raindrops on lilies. Many years ago, I was into daylilies. I even belonged to a daylily club - yes, like anything else you can imagine, daylily clubs exist. When I bought my house I planted a few of my favorites.

Pardon Me - probably my all time favorite - small 3 inch flowers

Aglow - also a favorite - mine have a little more orange than this picture shows - 5-6 inch flowers

TWO

A couple days ago, I went back to the grocery deli I discovered awhile back. This time I tried the Greek Kale and Garbanzo Bean salad and a couple BBQ wings. I will be honest, I have no idea the calorie amounts from this deli food. However, I feel a whole lot "healthier" eating a lunch like this than grabbing fast food. 

THREE

I finished the puzzle my niece and started this weekend. My husband even helped. He normally isn't into jigsaw puzzles, but I think he is having LEGO withdrawal. My favorite part about the puzzle was thinking about different blogging friends I have made. We are scattered across the country - places like Michigan, Oregon, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Nebraska and Florida (recently moved from my home state of Illinois). I love that blogging has introduced me to a fantastic group of friends from all different parts of the country (and Canada) who I would never have had the chance to "meet". 

 FOUR

Near my inlaws farm is this beautiful sunflower field. I always enjoy taking pictures of the happy blooms. However, this particular field is a little bittersweet. The owner plants it to attract doves, so they can hunt them. It isn't that I am completely opposed to hunting, but there seems something not quite fair about luring the birds in so you can shoot them.

 FIVE 

I saw an article a couple weeks ago about a new Oreo. Of course, a cookie with "thin" in the name is going to attract someone like me that wants to eat cookies and be thin, right?  In fact, my husband will tell anyone who will listen that I am the exact target these companies are after when they introduce variation after variation. I am always up for trying something new. This morning, I was fully prepared to actually purchase a package, but the more I looked at the packaging the more irritated I became. The actual package is only slightly smaller than the original Oreos package, but it weighs 5 ounces less. When I picked up the 'thins" package I could feel there were only two rows of cookies (original has three). I could also feel the rows were spread way apart to "fill" the bigger sized package. I get it, it is all about marketing. However, I would like to think of myself as a somewhat savvy shopper and I don't like to think companies are intentionally trying to deceive me. So for this time, Nabisco, I put your cookies back on the shelf. Yes, your delicious Oreos may someday overcome the bad taste your packaging left in my mouth, but not today Nabisco, not today. 

Tonight we are going to an outdoor (in a park) showing of Jaws. I know it is shocking that someone my age has never seen Jaws. But it is true. I have only seen an occasional clip of the movie - mostly involving a boat and a big set of chompers!  I am super excited to spend time with family doing something out of the box.

 Hope you all have a great weekend.

Restorative Weekend

With the majority of the flooring project finished life is getting back to normal. Sure there is still trim to be installed (probably August) and a mini mountain of stuff to be put away/organized, but it has not been my central focus this weekend.

A weekend that I have been dreading actually turned out rather well. Sunday was the due date I had been given for the baby we lost. Months ago, July 12 became a date I marked in my mental calendar to be the happiest day of our lives. Now that date will always be a painful reminder of the little one we never got to hold. A reminder of the little one we never got to share with everyone else.

Although I have been very open about our loss on this blog, in my real life there are only a few people who know. I have been thinking quite a bit about why we are so "quiet" about miscarriages. The grief is real and often intense. Sometimes, I wonder if the "secrecy" makes it more difficult. On a day like yesterday the loss is magnified and yet no one mentions it (outside my closest confidantes).  Before this became a part of our life I couldn't relate to the pain other couples, who lost babies,went through. I feel badly, that I didn't give them the love and support they may have needed. Frankly, I just didn't know what to say so I said nothing. Truth is there is nothing to say that eliminates the pain. However, I now know that  having your baby acknowledged and reminders that you are loved, really does help carry you through the pain.

I made a special effort to keep myself busy this weekend with things I enjoy - garden, cooking, family, etc. Friday night started out with a nice grilled dinner. I can't remember the last time we fired up the grill. Even though the main dish was a burger it was far from the fast food variety we have had too much of recently. I added chopped jalapeno to the ground beef. Then we topped the burgers with grilled onions and garden fresh tomatoes (finally!). Instead of fries there were delicious grilled asparagus spears. Unfortunately, our corn (store bought) was a fail - maybe it was too old when picked. The banana peppers were from my boss' garden. I have always had sweet banana peppers, but these had some serious heat.

Later that evening we realized our a/c had gone out.  Finally, we were scheduled to have a weekend of sunshine (along with temps in the 90s and humidity you would not believe). And this was the moment our a/c decides to croak. Thankfully, my brother-in-law has a little a/c experience and was able to determine it had blown a fuse.

At the risk of embarrassing ourselves, I am sharing this picture of our shame. PSA - When an a/c unit can't "breathe" it is going to blow a fuse. We have hosed out our unit, from the inside. Little did we know all this gunk (I think it is mostly grass clippings) was built up around the outside (hidden by the shield, which has been removed in this picture.) If you are going to clean your a/c unit yourself please be sure to remove the shield and clean from both sides. With all that removed and a pair of fuses ($13) the a/c has been running flawlessly this weekend. We are so grateful for this cheap fix and a lesson learned.

Saturday afternoon while I baked a quadruple batch of chocolate chip cookies....  If you look closely you will see the book I read to them right before they fell asleep...The Little Red Hen.

I made the cookies so I could make ice cream sandwiches for the my sister and her friends. They organized and held a HUGE yard sale this weekend. I am sure they earned every calorie.

We finally gave the garden some TLC. I am afraid I am about to lose a couple of zucchini plants. Just when I am starting to be that person who has to leave them on neighbors' porches :)  It is the craziest thing how the plant will look great and the next day look like this.

I noticed these strange orange and yellow bits on a branch in our burn pile.

And this was it looked like under the branch. Clearly someone has been snatching our tomatoes. Now that the constant rain has let up I am hoping more will ripen and I can grab some before someone else does.

For all of you envying my garden...it was a hot mess. I am trying to be honest and not just share the "beauty shots."  Here is the before picture of the jungle.

You can see the mammoth broccoli plants in the middle of the picture above. I decided to pull them out because they obviously were NEVER going to produce broccoli.  After I pulled out the first one I realized why they are never going to produce broccoli...they are Brussels sprouts. Seriously?? I am totally bummed. I like Brussels sprouts, but both my husband I love broccoli and were looking forward to a repeat of last year's fresh broccoli bonanza. I ended up leaving the plants in so I better at least get some good sprouts of of them.

My husband dug all the potatoes. We got a nice amount from only 6 plants. The tomatillos are producing well, although I lost some of the fruit to the constant rain. The jalapenos are also doing very well. After a couple of years of jalapenos with no heat, we are making up for it this year with some super hot ones!  I made poppers last night and could only eat a little of the pepper with the filling.

Love my colorful carrots. But this is what happens when you don't thin the plants. You get a hodge podge of shapes and sizes. I roasted some with dinner last night.

I made a batch of salsa verde from tomatillos, jalapenos and onions from the garden. I was playing around in my new room and set up this little photo shoot for my salsa verde. I have a little work to do on my food photography skills, but am excited to have the space to try new things.

Although there was plenty of "work" to be done. I decided to allow myself some puzzle time this weekend. It was so awesome to have the space to enjoy the puzzle zone with two of my favorite people. You will notice my husband is working on a different sort of "puzzle" - a mini LEGO set. He is addicted!

I won't pretend that I didn't have a chocolate chip cookie or two while we puzzled. However, before the cookies my niece and I snacked on fresh cucumber slices - yum!

I have decided that my new room will be known as the "studio." It is a creative zone for sewing, crafts, photography, etc. I even have plans to save some floor space to try some at home yoga. If I am not in the room I am gleefully peeking in and imagining all the fun I am going to have in there :) 

It was great to take a break from all the work we have been doing and have a fairly relaxing weekend. It does wonders for me emotionally to be getting back to things I love.