There was a brief period when I thought I was rebounding, but as Christmas approached the harder our loss hit me. When we found out I was pregnant I immediately started thinking about how different these holidays would be. They would be our last as a family of two. They would be filled with celebrating our news with friends and family. There might even be a present or two under the tree for our little one. Instead, the holidays were filled with a sadness I didn't know I could feel. Everything seemed to make me dissolve into tears.
I did my best to "suck it up"and do the things we normally do for the holidays. One of my favorite traditions is our annual Cookie Frenzy. We host our families for a day silliness and serious cookie production. This year we had 8 or 9 treats on the agenda. will say being super busy in the kitchen surrounded by those you love helps.
|New recipe - Hot Chocolate Cookies. Yum!|
|Mini Gingerbread Houses - Loved my niece's Christmas tree house.|
|Cranberry Pistachio Stars.|
|My husband building houses - Millie supervising (or waiting for something to drop).|
|Mischief always breaks out...especially with these two...|
|and these two.|
|Everyone went home with a box of goodies.|
Of course there were some fun presents...
As much as I had been dreading Christmas, I could not have anticipated the worst moment. While we were at my in-laws farm a raccoon wandered to the edge of the timber near their house. It made its way into the yard and seemed completely oblivious to the dogs', cat's and people's efforts to scoot it back into the woods. Of course, it was adorable and I took a bunch of pictures. Then as we watched it, it sat up on its back legs and appeared to start to seize, then it tipped over on its side in full seizure. It was horrible. It became clear the raccoon was suffering and the best option seemed to put it out of its misery. The girls went back inside and the guys handled the situation. I felt bad for my brother-in-law having to be the one to do it. No matter the circumstances the end of a life is never easy.
|R.I.P. Mr. Raccoon|
My husband and I built this house. Looks good from this angle, but the wall on the far side fell down.
Since we couldn't fix it I decided we need to have something inside the house to make it look intentional. I had limited resources so here we are all snug in our bed :)
There were definitely good moments during an especially difficult holiday season. I am thankful for my family and friends...and ready for a new year.