Monday, July 13, 2015

Restorative Weekend


With the majority of the flooring project finished life is getting back to normal. Sure there is still trim to be installed (probably August) and a mini mountain of stuff to be put away/organized, but it has not been my central focus this weekend.

A weekend that I have been dreading actually turned out rather well. Sunday was the due date I had been given for the baby we lost. Months ago, July 12 became a date I marked in my mental calendar to be the happiest day of our lives. Now that date will always be a painful reminder of the little one we never got to hold. A reminder of the little one we never got to share with everyone else.

Although I have been very open about our loss on this blog, in my real life there are only a few people who know. I have been thinking quite a bit about why we are so "quiet" about miscarriages. The grief is real and often intense. Sometimes, I wonder if the "secrecy" makes it more difficult. On a day like yesterday the loss is magnified and yet no one mentions it (outside my closest confidantes).  Before this became a part of our life I couldn't relate to the pain other couples, who lost babies,went through. I feel badly, that I didn't give them the love and support they may have needed. Frankly, I just didn't know what to say so I said nothing. Truth is there is nothing to say that eliminates the pain. However, I now know that  having your baby acknowledged and reminders that you are loved, really does help carry you through the pain.

I made a special effort to keep myself busy this weekend with things I enjoy - garden, cooking, family, etc. Friday night started out with a nice grilled dinner. I can't remember the last time we fired up the grill. Even though the main dish was a burger it was far from the fast food variety we have had too much of recently. I added chopped jalapeno to the ground beef. Then we topped the burgers with grilled onions and garden fresh tomatoes (finally!). Instead of fries there were delicious grilled asparagus spears. Unfortunately, our corn (store bought) was a fail - maybe it was too old when picked. The banana peppers were from my boss' garden. I have always had sweet banana peppers, but these had some serious heat.

Later that evening we realized our a/c had gone out.  Finally, we were scheduled to have a weekend of sunshine (along with temps in the 90s and humidity you would not believe). And this was the moment our a/c decides to croak. Thankfully, my brother-in-law has a little a/c experience and was able to determine it had blown a fuse.

At the risk of embarrassing ourselves, I am sharing this picture of our shame. PSA - When an a/c unit can't "breathe" it is going to blow a fuse. We have hosed out our unit, from the inside. Little did we know all this gunk (I think it is mostly grass clippings) was built up around the outside (hidden by the shield, which has been removed in this picture.) If you are going to clean your a/c unit yourself please be sure to remove the shield and clean from both sides. With all that removed and a pair of fuses ($13) the a/c has been running flawlessly this weekend. We are so grateful for this cheap fix and a lesson learned.


Saturday afternoon while I baked a quadruple batch of chocolate chip cookies....  If you look closely you will see the book I read to them right before they fell asleep...The Little Red Hen.



I made the cookies so I could make ice cream sandwiches for the my sister and her friends. They organized and held a HUGE yard sale this weekend. I am sure they earned every calorie.

We finally gave the garden some TLC. I am afraid I am about to lose a couple of zucchini plants. Just when I am starting to be that person who has to leave them on neighbors' porches :)  It is the craziest thing how the plant will look great and the next day look like this.
I noticed these strange orange and yellow bits on a branch in our burn pile.
And this was it looked like under the branch. Clearly someone has been snatching our tomatoes. Now that the constant rain has let up I am hoping more will ripen and I can grab some before someone else does.



For all of you envying my garden...it was a hot mess. I am trying to be honest and not just share the "beauty shots."  Here is the before picture of the jungle.
You can see the mammoth broccoli plants in the middle of the picture above. I decided to pull them out because they obviously were NEVER going to produce broccoli.  After I pulled out the first one I realized why they are never going to produce broccoli...they are Brussels sprouts. Seriously?? I am totally bummed. I like Brussels sprouts, but both my husband I love broccoli and were looking forward to a repeat of last year's fresh broccoli bonanza. I ended up leaving the plants in so I better at least get some good sprouts of of them.
My husband dug all the potatoes. We got a nice amount from only 6 plants. The tomatillos are producing well, although I lost some of the fruit to the constant rain. The jalapenos are also doing very well. After a couple of years of jalapenos with no heat, we are making up for it this year with some super hot ones!  I made poppers last night and could only eat a little of the pepper with the filling.
Love my colorful carrots. But this is what happens when you don't thin the plants. You get a hodge podge of shapes and sizes. I roasted some with dinner last night.
I made a batch of salsa verde from tomatillos, jalapenos and onions from the garden. I was playing around in my new room and set up this little photo shoot for my salsa verde. I have a little work to do on my food photography skills, but am excited to have the space to try new things.
Although there was plenty of "work" to be done. I decided to allow myself some puzzle time this weekend. It was so awesome to have the space to enjoy the puzzle zone with two of my favorite people. You will notice my husband is working on a different sort of "puzzle" - a mini LEGO set. He is addicted!
I won't pretend that I didn't have a chocolate chip cookie or two while we puzzled. However, before the cookies my niece and I snacked on fresh cucumber slices - yum!

I have decided that my new room will be known as the "studio." It is a creative zone for sewing, crafts, photography, etc. I even have plans to save some floor space to try some at home yoga. If I am not in the room I am gleefully peeking in and imagining all the fun I am going to have in there :) 

It was great to take a break from all the work we have been doing and have a fairly relaxing weekend. It does wonders for me emotionally to be getting back to things I love.

14 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss :( I am glad that you were able to spend time doing things you enjoy this weekend, surrounded by people you love and who love you.

    I love your garden! Definite garden envy over here :) I love your hodge-podge carrots, and LOL about the brussels sprouts!

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    1. Thank you. I feel better about the garden now that I spent a little time out there getting it under control and harvesting some things.

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  2. First of all, I am terribly sorry for your loss, and I am glad you were able to fill the weekend with fun projects. Please know I'm always here if you need to vent! And I love wild looking gardens, it's just plants doing their thing. I am so jealous of your beautiful harvest!

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    1. I appreciate your ear. You would adore my garden - it is a wild mess :) There is something even more delicious about food you grew yourself.

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  3. *hugs* I am still so sorry for the loss of your little one. It's not fair and it's not okay and it sucks. I'm glad that you were able to fill the weekend with fun activities though. I'm here for you if you ened it.

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    1. Thanks, Tiina. Life can be unfair...but we have to move forward.

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  4. (((HUGS))). I didn't realize your due date was my birthday. I'm so sorry. I am glad that you guys had such a wonderful weekend though. It looks like it was very well deserved.

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    1. I didn't realize that either until FB told me it was your birthday. I was relieved how the weekend turned out.

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  5. Oh man, honey, hugs to you. Glad you had a plan to be with your husband and focus on you guys this weekend.

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    1. Thanks, Meg. It was a needed reminder of the good in life :)

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  6. I'm glad you guys had a good weekend and were able to focus on each other. Hugs to you both! Both the carrots and the ice cream sandwiches look fantastic!

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    1. I definitely was thankful for the weekend. I can't make those ice cream sandwiches unless I have a hoard of people to feed. They are way too tempting!

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  7. WHOA! I've never seen anyone throw green beans and bread straight on the grill like that! You guys must be hardcore! :) Your garden veggies look amazing too...I think I need to hire you and your hubby to come to our house and show us how to have a garden that doesn't end in disaster.

    Jebbica
    http://jebbicasworld.com

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    1. This picture is actually asparagus, but we have done green beans the same way - so good! We love the grilling. To be honest, I love my garden, but the work I could do without :)

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