Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Confession

I have a confession...and it is bad. Monday I was not a good "no sweet February" person. I did manage to make it until the afternoon before I had a piece of candy at work. One innocent snack size (tiny) Milky Way Dark turned into a Butterfinger, a Baby Ruth and a Kit Kat.  All the tiny size. So about the total calories of a single candy bar. I could live with that, but...

On the way home I decided I really wanted a bakery treat. I took the long way home from work, but the   sweet shop was closed. I was stuck between relief and being totally annoyed. But then I remembered a new one was opening...

I am super lazy when it comes to getting off the beaten path. I have often thought about the fact that there are no fast food restaurants on my direct route to and from work. Sometimes, that fact is super aggravating to me and other times I am extremely grateful. Of course, there are tons of places close to my path, but when I am driving somewhere or am on my way home I just don't want detours.

So, bad news, the second bakery is about 2-3 blocks from my house and directly on the way to pretty much everywhere I go. I pass by there ALL the time. It was about 4:40 p.m. I was partially hoping the shop would already be closed and partially (desperately) hoping it would be open. As I pulled up, my eyes immediately found the OPEN sign. As soon as I stepped inside I knew I was in trouble. They had a case full of yumminess before me. What I loved about this place is their variety. I am not a huge fan of the cupcake craze. I love cookies, bars, muffins, etc. There were easily 10 items I wanted to try. I finally settled on a lemon bar and a cake pop. I am not huge on cake pops but I was intrigued by the flavor - chocolate PB&J. Turns out the cake pop was just chocolate...PB&J was a different cake pop entirely that they were out of. For the record, I would not have gotten the cake pop if I had not misunderstood the sign.

So on to the lemon bar. It was delicious. But also a greater source of shame. I "couldn't" take it home to eat because my husband was already home. So I drove around the neighborhood eating my lemon bar before I got home. I felt rather pathetic.

To be clear, I see absolutely nothing wrong with having occasional treats and enjoying them. I also see nothing wrong with not eating them in front of your spouse who is avoiding temptation. The problem I see is eating several pieces of candy, then going on a hunt for more treats, then "hiding" in the car to eat them - hiding because you don't want anyone to know because you are embarrassed. That is NO way to enjoy an occasional treat.

Okay, I know I am not the only one who has ever done that, but that doesn't make it me feel better about it. Neither did my husband's hysterical laughter when I confessed that I had driven around in order to hide my lemon bar shame.My shame is even more obvious by the fact that this photo crazed blogger didn't even take a picture of the lovely lemon bar..no evidence!

While I was at the shop I chatted with the owners of the shop and found out they had a Facebook page where they announce specials...great! I love, love, love specials - I am always looking to try something new. If I owned a bakery or restaurant I would have a few basic items and lots of specials.

I was "inexplicably" grumpy when I got home. I ended up parking in front of the tv watching stupid shows all night. It was definitely not a "wife of the year" evening. I didn't even make dinner - and I even had something simple to make planned and ready to go. My sweet husband offered to get us Subway for dinner and I accepted.

By the way, I didn't make my confession (my partial confession) until bedtime. I didn't confess the driving around eating the lemon bar until the next morning.  I asked my husband to lay down the law and forbid me from going to the bakery yesterday. And also to forbid me from eating the candy at work. I know that since I have promised him I will make sure it doesn't happen.

So, I packed my healthy snacks - cutie, grapes, apple with peanut butter - and set off for work. The bakery was open on my way by, but I kept driving. I was non-stop at work until lunch around 1:30 p.m.. I didn't even think about my snacks or the candy at work. I didn't have the healthiest lunch - buffalo chicken dip nachoes. They tasted okay when I ate them, but my stomach hurt all afternoon. By dinner time I was feeling better and made the dinner I had originally planned for Monday night. It was yummy!  The pork chops were rubbed with brown sugar, rosemary, salt and pepper. It was a nice flavor combination. I will definitely make it again. I served it with steamed cauliflower and corn.


In other exciting news...I am thinking garden thoughts. This weekend I planted some seeds. I haven't always had the best luck with seeds. My seedlings don't seem to get as big and robust as I would like before it is time to put them outside. Once outside they tend to perk up - so I have hope. It gives me something to think about while the snow still covers the garden beds.

I was excited about this mix of different color cherry tomatoes. Then I started to worry that I would end up planting all of one color. To my surprise the seeds were color coded so I was able to plant a variety. I marked the colors on the sticks so hopefully I will know which are which in the garden. I don't want to be waiting all summer for a green tomato that will never turn red.

Ready for the window sill. Hope the all grow healthy and strong :) I planted a second tray as well - mostly herbs - cilantro, dill, sweet basil, lime basil and more tomatoes.

This time of year I can't wait to get working on the garden. I am hoping in about a month to be planting the cold weather crops outside - spinach, radishes, carrots, lettuce...yum! By mid-summer I am hating the heat, weeds and mosquitoes!  

Do you have any garden plans?

P.S. I have put the "lemon bar incident" behind me. I am not beating myself up for it, I am just sharing my experience. I am hopeful that sharing may help someone handle a similar situation a little bit differently and if not, to help them move past it too. Just because you stumble doesn't mean you stop walking :)

Weigh In Wednesday

12 comments:

  1. You're right to not beat yourself up about the lemon bar incident! These things happen, we are human, and it's OK. Just dust yourself off and hit the re-set button! I have done that SO many times in my life and it's a-ok. You've got this! Way to go at work yesterday--those pork chops look stellar!

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    1. I love finding new recipes or cooking techniques. And better yet ones that fit into my healthy eating goals :)

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  2. What a brave confession! And a wise one, too. You're right, there is no shame in enjoying the occasional treat. I'm glad you realize that. And I'm glad you have such a supportive husband!

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    1. I am glad to have him too...I can't quite figure out how I managed the first 40 years of my life :)

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  3. Dude, I have definitely been there. Oh my god, must eat it before I get home so that no one sees me! Ugh, it's terrible. Good on you for owning up to it though and moving past it.

    Also, if I tried to plant any of that, it would all die. I have such a black thumb!

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    1. And isn't the first time I have done that, but it stings a little more when you are really trying to make a positive difference in your life and you fall back on old issues. But I have moved on. I will keep you on my list if I need to "dump" any excess produce this summer :)

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  4. Ahh.. well depriving yourself is also really tough to justify so you ate it, it was delicious, you got it out of your system and you confessed. You did nothing wrong! Now you know what you can get in the future for a treat for yourself when you do good or workout extra hard!

    I wish I could garden! Man I'd love to but we just don't have the space and plus I kill everything I manage to get. I'm lucky I can even keep my azelia (sp?) flowerbed weeded.

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    1. Yes, I have my eye on that bakery for future treats, but for now I am finishing no sweet February strong :) Weeding is the worst and my flower beds definitely suffer neglect.

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  5. I have totally been there with the eating in shame and hiding the evidence. You are very brave to put it out there, and I commend you for owning it and attempting to move on. I have found that doing food elimination things just doesn't work for me at all, it makes me become obsessed with whatever that food item is when I normally wouldn't be. I know your no sweets February is almost over and it's a moot point, now, but I would just say in the future to make the bakery by you a once a week treat. Make it special, make it an event. You and your hubby could walk there on a Saturday and pick out one very special thing that you really want and take it home. I find that when I do that then I get more excited about the treat because it's not forbidden but it's also not "the usual" so it makes it special. Hugs! Your seeds look awesome, I'm jealous you have the space to garden. Our yard is rather small and the way the sun hits it is weird, so gardening can be tough. I have planted a ton of flower seeds because I'm obsessed with helping bees, but I'm also going to get a few more herb plants (tarragon and basil most likely) to fill out my herb garden. And we have one lone apple tree left that will hopefully do something this year!

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    1. I completely agree about the food elimination thing. The only reason I did the no sweets February is because my sweet tooth was out of control and I need a drastic change. I was obsessed with sweets and if I had not done this I would have had many more days like Monday this month. Even though I wasn't 'perfect' I feel good about where I am now with the sweets. Moderation! I love my garden space and all the fresh goodies we harvest.

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  6. I love your P.S. because I was just about to say all of that to you! You can't change it, it's done and over with, and you're moving past it... onward and upward :)

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    1. Thank you for your encouraging words :)

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