I tried not to give in to it. Every morning I start out like I am going to get my act together. Healthy breakfast. Healthy lunch. Then by evening it is has blown up. I snack and snack some more. Sweet snack, salty snack and back to sweet. By the time dinner rolls around I am not even truly hungry, but I eat it anyway.
I know my husband is blaming himself for getting us off track when he was sick, but the truth is I have been struggling for weeks - since I was sick. As I told him, I completely understand that the choices I am making are my own. Yes, it is true that it is infinitely easier to stay on track when your spouse is also on track. However, it is probably somewhat unrealistic that we will always be on the same step in this journey.
As I mentioned before, my husband is at his goal now and is trying to find his maintenance sweet spot. I think he is having trouble adjusting to the freedom of more calories. And since I am not there yet I am having trouble helping him.
Maybe if I bury my weigh-in in the middle of this post nobody but me will have to know I gained 3.8 pounds this week. My weigh-in is a bit traumatic for me this week. Even though my brain tells me the gain on the scale is somewhat artificial it has hit me hard emotionally. I am going the opposite direction of my goal.
This morning I was bummed after I weighed in. I had to stop at Walmart on my way to the office. I didn't even try to talk myself out of buying a bag of chips and some cookies. I even had to ask where the cookies I wanted were and wait for someone to show me. I knew I should just walk away. By the time I got to work I had snacked on enough of it that I felt a bit sick to my stomach and was completely ashamed of myself. I stashed the stuff in my desk. About mid-morning I finally came to my senses and dumped the junk in the trash. For lunch I ate my Lean Cuisine and started feeling better about my day.
Turns out it didn't last long. I had to run and errand at work and ended up finding another snack. What is wrong with me???
I need to find the reset button...and quick!
I am embarrassed to share all this, but I didn't think it is fair to share all the sunshine and rainbows and completely avoid talking about the raging storms. I want to be real about this journey. It is hard. Just plain hard.
There is some good news in the day. My husband was able to get a fresh start today. For the first time in over a week he tracked all his food and stayed within his calories. I am so proud of him. He is so sweet and gives my credit for pulling him out of his desire to give up. All I can think is how do I pull myself out of it? How is it I can help others, but can't help myself?
I know I am not alone...please share how you got through the tough days/weeks/months?
Oh, Anna, it sucks when this happens.
ReplyDeleteHere's what I like to do when I find myself getting pulled down into a whirlwind of emotional eating or snacking. First, I do what you did and just get rid of the junk at home. Since your hubs has already pulled himself out I would suggest you ask him to do it.
Second, DRINK TONS OF WATER! Seriously. When you feel snacky have a big glass of water instead. Not instead of actual good calories like lunch or anything but instead of crappy snacks.
And another thing I do is when I am feeling snacky at night I just brush my teeth and go to bed. Maybe I read in bed or watch a movie on the iPad but being in my pjs and not out in the living room keeps me from the snacks. You will get through this!
Home junk is gone...most of it was take out food or going out to eat. We didn't buy too much in the way of snacks for home. I have been working on extra water. I didn't think about watching tv in the bedroom - I think you are right about not being so close to the kitchen. Thank you so much for your wise words.
DeleteI've been having this kind of year, frankly. My weight is way up, and it's seriously frustrating. One thing to consider for your husband: maintaining goal is actually harder than getting there. I know it seems impossible when you have weight to lose, but I've been there and it really is true. You could, perhaps, check with your husband about helping YOU get to goal, so he can help you focus, and maybe that'll make it easier for him to focus. The trick about goal is understanding that the extra calories to maintain may be as little as an extra glass of milk. People have this false idea in their heads that maintenance means an extra 1000 calories and adding junk back in if they want. The truth is that your body is the reflection of how you have been treating it. If you go back to the bad habits and foods, your body will too. If getting to goal meant eating cleanly, then staying there will too.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding the way to get myself back on track is to plan my meals for the next day the night before. Even pack them or lay them out accordingly. Even plug them into my calorie tracker. It locks things down for some reason, and helps. Dump the junk at home, I second that as well. You have to shake the junk-hold on you, and that might take a day or two of fighting yourself, but you can do it!
Yes,I definitely got off of planning meals ahead. I restarted planning dinner ahead...that helps so much. It makes it much easier to avoid just picking up dinner.
DeleteWe've all been there, honey. *hugs* For me, the biggest thing with resetting is to focus on eating good foods. I can eat as much of them as I want, but it has to be fruits and veggies and nutritious foods. I find that once I do that, it's easier to start moving and to cut the portion sizes to normal. It works different for every person. I feel you though on the difficulty of being on a different system that your hubs. I'm always battling to eat healthy when my SO is still on a less than healthy eating plan. It's rough. But you're going to make it through :) Let me know if you want to meet up for a walking date sometime!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I am glad my husband is back on track and I am getting there too. Yesterday was so much better. A walking date sounds fun...I can't believe we are so close.
DeleteWe have all been there, stay strong girly!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I know it is a long process and doing my best to be strong. I knew you would all understand :)
DeleteYep, been there, done that. It is hard. If it was easy I guess we would all be 120 and scarfing down pizzas every day. Try to load your fridge and cabinets with healthy snacks instead of cookies and chips and when you do feel the need to mindlessly munch on something, maybe try to do that with grapes. Plus it will tide me over until lunch or dinner rolls around. Good luck getting that balance back. It is so so so so hard!
ReplyDeleteMmm...did someone say pizza?? Seriously, I am feeling much better today. I think I just had to confess my frustration and my guilt to help me refocus. Thanks for listening :) I am feeling much more in control. Grapes might be a good thing to try.
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